The voices in my head told me to clean all the guns today.

I was stuck in the blood pressure machine down at the Pharmacy.

Constipation has made me a walking time bomb.

I just found out that I was switched at birth. Legally, I shouldn't come to school knowing my school records may now contain false information.

The dog ate my car keys and so I had to hitchhike to the vet.

I prefer to remain an enigma.

The EPA has determined that my house is completely surrounded by wetlands and I have to arrange for helicopter transportation.

I am converting my calendar from Julian to Gregorian.

I refuse to travel to school in the District until there is a commuter tax. I insist on paying my fair share.

My alarm clock did not go off. It's never been the same since I hit it with that sledgehammer.

A squad of army ants attacked me.

I'm punctually challenged.

My dog swallowed my alarm clock.

I couldn't jump start my alarm clock.

[If it rained on your way to school] I fell in a huge puddle and had to wait for my clothes to dry out.

[If there was a storm on the way to school] I was trying to get the static charge out of my clothing.

We have a really old toaster that just takes ages to warm up in the mornings.

An elephant was hogging the water fountain.