The voices in my head
told me to clean all the guns today.
I was stuck in the blood
pressure machine down at the Pharmacy.
Constipation has made me
a walking time bomb.
I just found out that I
was switched at birth. Legally, I shouldn't come to school knowing my
school records may now contain false information.
The dog ate my car keys
and so I had to hitchhike to the vet.
I prefer to remain an
The EPA has determined
that my house is completely surrounded by wetlands and I have to
arrange for helicopter transportation.
I am converting my
calendar from Julian to Gregorian.
I refuse to travel to
school in the District until there is a commuter tax. I insist on
paying my fair share.
My alarm clock
did not go off. It's never been the same since I hit it with that
A squad of army
ants attacked me.
My dog swallowed
my alarm clock.
I couldn't jump
start my alarm clock.
[If it rained on
your way to school] I fell in a huge puddle and had to wait for my
clothes to dry out.
[If there was a
storm on the way to school] I was trying to get the static charge out
of my clothing.
We have a really
old toaster that just takes ages to warm up in the mornings.
An elephant was
hogging the water fountain.