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When Professors say this...
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They really mean this
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"This needs some minor revision."
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I never actually got around to reading this.
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"My office hours are by appointment only."
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I like to get out of here early and plays some golf.
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"Ten percent of your grade is based on class
participations."
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I'll be fudging your grades.
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"This won't be on the test."
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I'm making this up and probably won't remember it.
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"Bring the text to class."
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I don't have a clue how to lecture - we'll just kill time with
group read-alongs.
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"Talk to me in my office after class."
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Get out of my face!
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"The tests will all be multiple-choice."
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I take questions directly from the study guide and have grad
students do all my grading.
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"Don't come in late during my lecture."
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I have the attention span of a fruit fly.
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"Save you questions until the end."
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See Above.
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"The final will be comprehensive."
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I'll expect you to recapitulate in two hours everything I couldn't
fully cover myself in 15 weeks.
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"Everyone will prepare in-class oral
presentations."
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This course is outside my speciality - I'll just bluff it and let
YOU teach.
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There are two TAs available to help you.
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I can't be bothered.
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"This year, I'll be scaling the grades."
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I just passed tenure review.
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"Let's break up into quiet discussion group."
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I have a hangover.
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"Let's have class outdoors today!"
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I had beans for lunch
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"You won't be able to sell back the textbooks to the
bookstore."
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This class is outdated and actually quite a waste of our time.
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"Hmm..."
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What the heck!
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"Please note the last day to withdraw."
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The midterm's gonna be a doozy.
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"The answer to number 4 is "b," and just skip
number 17."
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I only got around to making the test last night.
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"I haven't had a chance to make up the syllabus for
this course yet."
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The department chair stuck me with this teaching course at the
last possible minute.
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"Well, it was on the syllabus."
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I'll hold you responsible for this even though I forgot about it
myself.
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"We'll just skip the term paper this semester."
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There wasn't enough in the budget for the TA, and I am not going
to grade them as I am leaving on my vacation early.
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"Attendance is required and will be counted in your
grade."
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I'm so boring that no one would show up otherwise.
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"Read chapters 5 through 10."
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I'm not coming in at all next week.
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"We'll have to cover this chapter quickly."
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I messed up the lecture schedule.
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"Let's go over the exam."
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Half of you failed.
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"I'm postponing today's exam."
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There's stuff on the exam I forgot to cover.
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"Don't write on the questions sheet."
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I'm so lazy that I just use the same exams every semester.
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"That won't be on the exam."
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Ask someone who cares.
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